The Internal Leadership Series

Capability Is Not Obligation

Being good at something has consequences.

People notice. They trust us with it. They ask us to do it again and, over time, what began as something we happened to be good at can become something we are expected to do.

We can contribute to that expectation ourselves.

If something comes naturally to me, I am more likely to step forward when I see it needs doing. I may be able to do it quickly, enjoy doing it well or find it frustrating to watch somebody else struggle with something I know I could sort out.

Before long, I can become the person who always does it.

I've seen this play out in organisations, teams and families, and I've certainly recognised it in myself. Capability attracts responsibility remarkably easily.

There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that. Being able to make a valuable contribution and being trusted to make it can be deeply rewarding. Many of the opportunities I've valued most have come from being willing to invest what I do well in something that matters.

What I've had to notice in myself is the point at which capability starts to feel like obligation

I can do this quietly becomes I should do this.

And once should enters the conversation, choice can become much harder to see.

This is one of the reasons understanding our Natural Talents matters to me. Our strengths aren't simply things that help us perform well. They influence where we're naturally drawn to contribute and the value other people come to expect from us.

Someone who naturally takes ownership may find themselves carrying responsibility because people know it will be safe in their hands. Someone who instinctively sees how something could be improved may become the person everyone turns to when standards slip. Someone who is good at solving problems can find themselves repeatedly invited into problems that other people could learn to solve for themselves.

These are all valuable contributions.

The question is whether every opportunity to use what we're good at deserves an investment from us.

I've found that question surprisingly challenging.

There is satisfaction in being useful. There is reassurance in knowing that we can help. Being asked can feel like recognition of something we value in ourselves, and saying no to something we're perfectly capable of doing can feel much harder to justify than saying no to something we cannot do.

Yet if there is only 100% of us, capability can't be the only test.

Every time we invest our time, attention, energy or Natural Talents somewhere, that investment becomes unavailable somewhere else.

That means the question isn't simply:

Can I contribute here?

It is:

Is this where I choose to contribute?

Those are very different questions.

The first asks about capability. The second asks about intention.

There will be times when the answer to both is an enthusiastic yes. We can see that what we bring is needed, that it matters to us and that the return is worth what the investment asks.

There will also be times when we recognise that something would benefit from our contribution and still choose not to make it.

I think that can be particularly difficult for capable people because choosing not to contribute can easily be mistaken for not caring.

But those aren't the same thing.

Sometimes choosing not to step in allows somebody else to develop. Sometimes it protects the attention we need for something only we can do. Sometimes it creates room for an investment in ourselves that we've repeatedly treated as optional.

And sometimes it is simply an acknowledgement that being able to do something isn't, by itself, a reason to keep doing it.

This connects strongly for me with the expectations we place on ourselves.

Once we've become known as the dependable one, the problem solver, the person who gets things done or the person who holds everything together, we can begin to feel responsible for continuing to be that person everywhere.

Our Natural Talents can become expectations about who we believe we should always be.

That is where greater awareness gives us something important.

Choice.

Understanding what comes naturally to us doesn't oblige us to use it every time it could be useful. It gives us the opportunity to become more discerning about where we invest it.

I've started to think of strengths in exactly that way.

They are part of my 100%.

Like my time, attention and energy, I want to invest them where they can create something that matters rather than simply wherever they happen to be useful.

That doesn't mean every investment has to create maximum impact. There will always be things we choose to do because they need doing, because they matter to somebody we care about or simply because we want to.

The point is to retain the choice.

The Investing for Impact tool asks us to consider where we're investing ourselves because we're capable, because it is expected of us or because we've always done it, before asking a more intentional question: where are we particularly well placed to create meaningful impact?

For me, that's a valuable distinction.

Self-leadership isn't about withholding what we have to offer.

It's about recognising that what we have to offer is valuable enough to invest with care.

There is only 100% of you.

Your capability will create many places where you could invest it.

You still get to choose which of them deserve you.