The Internal Leadership Series

Is It Worth What It Asks of You?

In the last blog, I explored the idea that there is only 100% of us and that our time is only one part of what we invest. Our attention and energy are finite too, including the attention we give to things long after they have stopped taking up any physical space in our day.

Once we begin to notice those investments, another question naturally follows.

What are they creating?

I find this a more interesting question than whether something gives me energy or takes it away.

Some of the things I value most in my life ask a great deal of me. Building a business, supporting people I care about, taking on responsibilities that matter to me and learning something difficult have all required significant amounts of time, attention and energy at different points.

I wouldn't describe all of those things as energising.

I would describe many of them as worthwhile.

That distinction matters because if we judge our investments simply by how much they take from us, we risk concluding that anything demanding should receive less. Equally, if we judge them by how busy or productive they keep us, we can continue investing heavily in things that create very little that still matters.

For me, the more useful question is:

Is what this creates worth what it asks of me?

That question has made me think differently about return.

When we talk about an investment, it's easy to assume that the return should somehow come back to us. Yet some of the investments I choose to make aren't primarily for my benefit. They might support another person, contribute to something I care about or create an outcome I may never personally experience.

The return can also be difficult to measure. Connection, meaning, learning, enjoyment, security, opportunity and wellbeing don't fit neatly onto a spreadsheet, but they still matter.

And then there are investments that don't offer much of a return at all.

Some things simply need doing.

There will always be responsibilities that take something from us because they are part of our lives, our work or the commitments we have chosen to make. Self-leadership doesn't require every investment to be rewarding, meaningful or enjoyable.

What interests me is what happens when we stop assuming that every investment deserves to continue receiving the same amount of us simply because it always has.

I've experienced this myself. Something that once felt important can gradually become less so. A responsibility that made sense at one point can begin asking more than I expected. Something I once enjoyed can change, or I can change, and the return no longer feels the same.

That doesn't mean the original investment was wrong.

We can only make choices with the information, priorities and circumstances we have at the time. Sometimes the only way to discover what an investment will create is to make it.

This is where self-kindness becomes particularly important.

Looking back with everything we know now makes it remarkably easy to decide that we should have chosen differently. Yet hindsight can turn useful reflection into another opportunity to judge ourselves.

I'm much more interested in what the investment is telling me now.

What is this asking of me?

What is it creating?

Is that still a return I choose to invest in?

Those questions don't require a judgment of what has gone before, nor do they require an immediate decision. They simply create curiosity about something we may have stopped consciously choosing a long time ago.

I think that's particularly important for capable people.

We can continue doing something because we're good at it. We can continue supporting someone because they value what we give. We can keep carrying a responsibility because we're trusted with it. All of those things can create a return. The question is whether that return still warrants the share of our 100% we're investing in it.

And sometimes the answer will be yes.

Something may ask a huge amount of us and still be exactly where we choose to invest ourselves.

At other times, we may realise that an investment needs to change. Not necessarily disappear, but receive less of our time, less of our attention or less of our emotional energy.

That is why I don't think investing for impact is about constantly searching for a better return.

It is about becoming more conscious of the relationship between what we give and what our investment creates.

The Investing for Impact tool asks you to look at some of the places currently receiving a meaningful share of your 100% and consider both sides of that relationship: what each investment asks of you and what it creates in return.

There is nothing to optimise and no perfect allocation to find.

The purpose is simply to notice.

Because something can be difficult and still be worth it.

Something can be easy and no longer matter.

And something that was once worth a great deal of you may not deserve the same investment forever.

Leadership always happens twice, first internally and then externally.

Part of that internal leadership is being willing to keep asking whether the places we invest ourselves still reflect what matters to us now.

Is this worth what it asks of me?